There are things you cannot reach. But you can reach out to them...the wind, the bird flying away. The idea of God. And it can keep you busy as anything else; and happier. I look; morning to night I am never done with looking. Looking; I mean not just standing around, but standing around with your arms open.
- Mary Oliver
 A love note to my sister

A love note to my sister

My amazing niece Isha, in my Fluevogs. 

My amazing niece Isha, in my Fluevogs. 

Dear Bhu,

I was on Pinterest the other day and your name popped up as someone that I follow there. I hadn't looked at your boards since you left us four years ago. They are full of ethereal, black and white, edgy photos. I felt like I did when I used to look at your photography portfolio - that there is a deep layer of poignancy underneath even the brightest of moments on earth. You had a unique ability to embrace this sadness in your work.

I also loved seeing your "hair" and "fashion" boards. Seeing the bits of you in them, reminding me of the time you had bangs, of how good your tall self looked in a maxi skirt, and of just how gorgeous you were. 

But what really got me, Bhu, was the photo you posted on your "photographs" board of a roller skater. This was back when Isha was only 4, so was about four years before she discovered her love of roller derby. You couldn't have known. And yet, in that small collection of photos that you pinned, somehow, there is her present essence, in that photo called disco skate. There are your nine year old daughter's little legs skating away from the photographer. It was as if you had seen the future and pinned the feeling. 

It is both sad and brilliant to hear your fabulous syncopated laugh come out of her so often. We also see your mannerisms and preferences, your food pickiness and your artistic ease. This is how I get to feel your love continue, sweet Bhu. And feel it move into new ways of being.  

That's it for now. 

Wish I could squeeze you one last time.

From my undying love, to yours,

Maddie

An interesting conversation between long time friends, post Soccer Sunday

An interesting conversation between long time friends, post Soccer Sunday

When I planted a dream, back on the farm

When I planted a dream, back on the farm