Comfort... It's so easy, isn't it?
Why would we choose to be uncomfortable when there is a warm furry blanket (we
call ours "the wolf") beckoning to us from the couch?
Well, because often, moving through discomfort, we bring forth such great results. As with a grain of sand turning into a pearl, in an oyster, irritation and discomfort can be the catalyst for amazing transformations, or, at least, one of many steps towards a bigger life. I have slowly learned (kicking and screaming) that it can’t be avoided if we truly want to grow up.
Self-care is brilliant. Taking time off to just be can be radically healing. It’s when the time-out (or the comfort-crutch) is habitual, or a hideout, that it can start to feel like quicksand.
My resistance/discomforts have changed over the years. Discomfort once revolved around food. I was most comfortable eating my way through pints of ice cream, jelly donuts or 100,000 dollar bars (not all at once, but they sure weren’t helping me as a ballet dancer.) To deny myself these and other food cravings (not to mention cigarettes) was really uncomfortable. A later comfort came from belonging to groups of people, in theater or a spiritual group, or through dance. I was uncomfortable when I’d gone too long without being with the group. Now it is the opposite. I am most comfortable with one loved one, or alone. My latest discomfort, as a result of the pandemic, is being in a car to go anywhere other than the grocery store. I barely drove over the past few years.
The antidote to all of these discomforts/resistance has been to acknowledge the pain and do it anyway. Just go one night giving up the ice cream, or get behind the wheel for the five-hour trip, or hike one of the steepest parts of the Appalachian Trail… and then survive! I may need some restorative time under the wolf, but I end up feeling much lighter for having overcome the heavy, resistant anticipation. I realize that my capabilities are bigger than I perceived. I get a little bit more ok.
It is in the heat of discomfort that we burn within our biggest insecurities and habitual reactions. It is within these dark moments of discomfort that the brightest light is shined upon the reality of how we show up in the world. When we are up against “it,” (and it can be a craving for sugar or wine, a practical phone call that’s been postponed, a boundary we need to enact) we react like an angry boar, or, we get to pull up our bigger self, the one that surprises us by showing some grace.
In addition, stretching ourselves outside of our comfort zones allows for a deeper appreciation of the privilege of having comfort. Last weekend, Ray and I camped on a very humid island with limited water, no hiking poles (I mistakenly thought flat backpacking had no need of poles,) and (I swear) the greatest population of ticks in the world. They were literally sky diving out of the Spanish moss onto our limbs. We were still picking them off three days after getting home. There were wonderful moments, like the swims in the warm ocean with no other humans in sight, and coming upon two baby boars. But mostly, it was some serious discomfort. Five days later, I am still feeling deep gratitude for running water, a toilet and places to sit off the ground. I'm also grateful for a naturopath who has given us homeopathy to prevent Lyme disease!
What have been your biggest discomforts? What resistance have you worked through already? Have you given yourself some credit for that?
Love,
Madeline
